


The unsent letters

by VNVdarkangel



Series: As the bird landed on the ocean [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, HthaN-worldline, Letters, Love Confessions, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VNVdarkangel/pseuds/VNVdarkangel
Summary: An earthquake unearthes a truth hidden for years in the Minami/Sonoda household.
Relationships: Minami Kotori/Sonoda Umi
Series: As the bird landed on the ocean [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797262
Comments: 24
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some time ago I came across the mentioning of "unsent letter" between the various ships in LL:SIP, I think this might a common thing in other fandoms too. I got triggered by the idea but never found any from Umi to Kotori... so I wrote some.

She felt the jolt through her feet and immediately knew what was going to happen There had been enough warnings about it anyway. Then it began to feel like the ground was oscillating in all directions at the same time. She heard the table wear in the cupboard rattle, the crash of a pot falling over, the low thud of folders hitting the floor but it didn’t sound like anything had broken, but the insistent rattling was unnerving.

_Be over soon._ , she thought has she took care not to stand anywhere dangerous.

Her phone started ringing.

“Yes?”  
“Are you alright Kotori?”, the concerned voice of Umi Sonoda came over the line.  
“I’m fine Umi-chan. Just want it to be over.”  
“As do I. In a way it is more worrisome that we are so used to it. And I do believe that it is a low in strength.”  
  


The shaking stopped as suddenly as it had started.

“Ah. It’s over I think.”, Umi said.  
“Mm. I heard some things fall, so I’ll check on that. I hope the paint didn’t get on my sketches.”  
“I’m sure it will be fine dearest. I’ll try to get home a bit sooner today.”  
“That’d we wonderful.”  
“Got to go. No escaping the meetings. Love you Kotori.”  
“Love you too Umi-chan.”, and she tapped the phone to hang up.

Looking round their flat she found a few vases that had tilted, her sketches had moved and fallen to the floor but no damage and a few binders had danced from Umi’s office shelf and fallen to the floor. No damage.  
She picked up the folders to put back into their places, she felt a light prick on her naked foot as two envelopes fell on it. She put the binders on the desk and picked up the envelopes.

_But… these are addressed to me… with mom’s address… in Umi’s handwriting… and dates… hey…_

She looked at the date on one of the envelopes.

_This is… day after my canceled US trip… and this…_ , she searched her memory for the date on the second envelope, _is after we won Love Live. But why? Umi-chan?_

Kotori, envelopes in hand, went back to the kitchen, grabbed her phone, pressed Umi’s number, then stopped, her finger hover over the _Dial_ button. Should she really confront Umi about this on the phone? No, that wasn’t right. Umi had obviously never sent them, but she had kept them, so they were important, but why? She sat down, staring at them.

_I’ll read them, ask for forgiveness later if I have to, but… I need to know what she wanted to tell me… maybe she already did. So there would be no harm. Right?_

She opened the envelope with the older date. The script was elegantly and precisely written, as one would expect of Umi from that time.  
It said:

_My dearest Kotori,  
I have to admit that I’m harbouring feelings for you that are deeper than friendship._

_I cannot say when this began, maybe these feelings have always been there. I have long since realised that the thought of a relationship with a boy not only embarrasses me greatly and fills me with dread, but also does not fill me with joy. With a girl however, I find myself quietly fascinated and filled with warmth._

_But the only one I can see next to me, now or ever is you. Only you, my dearest Kotori._

_I wish us to be true equals, no norms binding us. You may also ask yourself, why would I spend time and effort conveying words to you I know you will never read in this form. I caught Hanayo-chan writing one of these letters to Rin-chan and decided it may be time for me to also be honest with myself. According to tradition you are supposed to burn the letter once completed, but that seems wasteful, so I will hide for as long as I live. I hope my future self will be able to say what I can now only say in secret._

_My dear Kotori: I wish to stand with you, next to you, as your chosen partner for life. For me there can be no other person. You are my everything._

_But I am weak. When my, what I thought to be my last chance, to tell you came, I stayed silent. The thought of you leaving hurt me more than words can_ _accurately express. But I didn’t want to stand in the way for your dream for my own selfish reasons._

_As the days towards your departure came closer, I dreaded the moment when I will have to say good-bye for now. I knew in my heart you will be coming back, but the thought of you being so far away from me filled me with a feeling I have a hard time to describe. Sadness, fear and loneliness all wrapped into one._

_I wanted to shout:_ _Don’t go. Don’t leave. I will follow you. I will stand with you. But I couldn’t find it within myself to the that selfish._

_But fate seemed to have another plan, to give me another chance. It gave me the possibility to have Honoka do what I could not. And she did. I will never be able to thank her for her deed in bringing you back to me for she must never know._

_It is my hope that someday I will be able to ask you in person what I am entrusting to a piece of paper that you will never see._

_Will you accept my feelings for you?_

_With my deepest respect and admiration_

_Umi, yours forever._

Slowly Kotori put down the letter. Thousands of thought and emotions stirred in her, everything from outrage to elation , joy and sadness. It was all just a blur. She remembered that Umi had come to visit her before her planned trip, that Umi had been very tense. Like her bow before she made a shot. But it never came.

_Would I have stayed had Umi-chan asked? Maybe, I was so conflicted, I didn’t know what to do… Honoka-chan gave me that last push to stay. Honoka-chan, not Umi-chan. Why do I feel so sad it wasn’t Umi-chan…_

She looked at the other envelope, still the same address, a more certain script and the date. The day after they’d won Love Live. She opened it. The style was still Umi, but it was much shorter and direct. It read:

_My dearest Kotori,_

_I have decided._

_Today is the night after our victory in Love Live. Tomorrow is the day I will make my feelings known to you._

_Because now, I know what I feel._

_I, Sonoda Umi, am in love with you, Minami Kotori._

_Even writing down these words, I feel embarrassment. Embarrassment of my selfishness, embarrassment for my shamelessness, embarrassment for being weak.  
I am also in trepidation over your reply. Are the feelings mutual? Do you want to remain my friend? Will you shun me? _

_T_ _o me you are the most precious, the most wonderful person I know. And I wish you to know that. If not for myself, then for yourself. You always look to the feelings of others, I ask you to let me look to yours._

_Dawn is rising, a new day is about to begin, a day where I hope that you will say yes._  
  


_Whatever your choice might be,_

_I’ll be yours forever._

_Umi._

Kotori thought back to that day, Umi had indeed confessed her feelings, on the roof no less. Kotori had been so relieved she’d burst into tears, almost causing Umi panic. Then something magic had happened; she’d kissed the blunette and for a while time had stopped.

She wasn’t really sure how she felt now, she wasn’t angry or hurt, maybe a bit sad. Their life could have started earlier, but in the end, did it matter? They were happy now; they would be in the future. But there was one thing she didn’t like about the letters; they were still here. The one she herself had written way back in high school had met its end by flame after she’d written it, its contents only found in her heart. But that didn’t matter, her hopes had come true.

She reached for her phone and sent a quick message. There. She would leave the letters here on the table and wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kotori confronts Umi and learns the story behind the letters.

“I’m home”, Umi called from the entrance.

Silence.

She could see that Kotori was home, her keys, her boots, everything was in place.

“Kotori?”

No answer.

She walked through the hallway and entered their small kitchen. Kotori was sitting at the dinner table, envelopes in front of her. Not looking at Umi, she moved the items towards her. Umi quickly looked at them; instantly recognizing them.

“Kotori, I…”, she began but was cut off.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Kotori’s voice was soft as a whisper, but it was clear she was struggling to keep it that way.

_Always accept responsibility for your actions, be they good or bad._ That mantra had been in Umi’s life for as long as she could remember. She had to say something, nothing but the whole truth would do.

“I couldn’t. I was afraid. I’m… sorry. I wanted to tell you earlier than I did, but I was too afraid.”, she replied.  
“Of me?”, Kotori asked.  
“Of your reaction. And our parents too in a way. Their eventual dislike I could have handled, but to lose you because of how I felt towards you, then I thought I was better to hide it.”

For the first time since they started speaking, Kotori looked up at Umi. She could see that Kotori was having a hard time to contain herself.

Suddenly Kotori lurched up, slamming her hands on the table. Umi jumped.

“Sonoda Umi-chan”, Kotori began in a hushed voice.

“Y-yes dear…?”  
  


Kotori smiled her biggest smile.

“You’ll never keep secrets from me again. Right?”  
“Never!”, Umi knew better than to argue.  
“Good. Then let me just keep those…”, she swiped up the letters and walked up next to Umi.

“Kotori, I…”

“ _You. Owe. Me._ ”, Kotori whispered in Umi’s ear and bit lightly on the tip, making Umi catch her breath.

* * *

Warmth has way to soothe, be it food, drink or to immerse yourself in it. Even a cold breeze cannot lessen the sensation, quite the opposite.

Umi and Kotori sat next to each other in the warm pool, steam rising and getting caught in the season’s winds, the only sound, apart from the wind was running water, constantly filling the pool. Kotori was leaning on Umi’s chest, Umi’s arms encircling her.

“Umi-chan?”, Kotori suddenly said.  
“Yes dearest?”

“Can I ask you something? About the unsent letters?”  
“Of course.”  
“Why?”  
“Why did I write them?”  
“No, why did you never send them?”  
“Hmm… It’s just in the nature of what they are. Hanayo, explained it as such. That you were to write your innermost feelings, all that you held close to your heart and then burn the letter and ask the spirits to make that person that the letter was for to know your feelings. I… I have to admit that I found the logic in it to be somewhat flawed, but in the end I wrote one anyway.  
There was so much I needed to say, but no one I dared say it to. So, I wrote it down.”  
“And the second?”  
“I don’t really remember. I was so proud of what we had done and remember how against it I was at the start? I think our victory showed me that anything was possible if you worked hard for it. Also, the song made me understand what… my feelings were.  
And I wasn’t afraid of telling you just how much I was in love with you. Even if you had rejected me.”  
“Silly. I could never have done that. I was in love too.”  
“And I didn’t know. Only when you… ehh kissed me, I understood.”

“Why keep them in that case?”  
“It would have been wasteful to burn them; besides, I keep all my correspondence.”

Kotori turned towards Umi, causing the water to splash. The sound of running water was interrupted by the sound of kisses and the occasional hiss of breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. I gathered from the comments that we needed more of explanation of what Umi's though process was and to how the letters were still around.

**Author's Note:**

> Had this floating around for a while and I'm in a job rut still.. so why not polish it a bit (not too much, I'm not that good) and release it, maybe someone will like it.
> 
> Please look forward to chapter 2.


End file.
